Woot!

Another guest post.

"Run to 3rd so they can bounce some more."

Really? Did you really just say that?
You think you have a right to comment on anyone's body like that?

You don't.

Talk trash all you want. It's softball. Whatever, we're just having a good time. But you don't get to sexually harass the players. And commenting on a woman's breasts? That's sexual fucking harassment.

You being drunk is not an excuse. The size of a woman's breasts is not an excuse. There is no excuse. You crossed a line and hell yes, we are going to call you out on it.

And us complaining to the ump about you so that he could confront you about your sexism? That isn't you being "told on". It's us realizing that if you feel comfortable making sexually suggestive comments about our bodies on company property, then us poor womenfolk telling you to cut that shit out (which we did) isn't going to get the job done (which it didn't).

You make your company look bad. You make the league look bad. And you identify yourselves as sexist assholes.

Fuck you.

Open Letter to Drivers

Note: This was written a couple years ago after a verrrry long bike ride I took part in.

After cycling for over 4100 miles across 2 countries you tend to notice a lot of driving habits, from very good to very bad and everywhere in between. I'd like to spend some time now to discuss some of the behaviors I've noticed along the way that all motorists should be aware of so that drivers and cyclists can coexist peacefully.

Disclaimer 1: This is not a blanket condemnation of all drivers. I have a car too, and now that I live in Houston I drive more than I bike. But the truth of the matter is, some people just have no clue how to properly behave around cyclists, whether out of God-honest ignorance or just total assholery. Maybe there is something you just never realized is a bad behavior, or maybe you have a friend or coworker who does do some of the following actions. Knowledge is power; share the knowledge.

Disclaimer 2: Just as not all drivers are unfriendly towards cyclists, I know that not all cyclists behave responsibly on a bike. I've seen my share of cyclists that I just want to smack around for doing such stupid things. But for the purposes of this entry, when I refer to cyclists I refer to the responsible, law-abiding cyclists who just want to share the road safely.

So without further ado, here are my guidelines for being kind to cyclists while driving:

1. SHARE THE ROAD!!!

According to the laws in every place I've lived, bicycles are vehicles and should be treated as such. Don't tell us to get off the road, beacuase as long as it's safe and there are no signs specifically saying no bikes, we have just as much right to be there as a car does, and we do not have to be on the shoulder either (see Item 2 for the major reason cyclists stay out of shoulders). This also includes not driving as close to us as possible, not driving behind us on the shoulder to "teach us a lesson" and definitely not veering into us from the opposite side of traffic because we're interupting your drunken commute home in the morning.

2. Don't throw anything out your window. EVER.

In the words of my friend Amy: "There is a special place in hell for people who throw [anything] out their window." Throwing trash at cyclists as you drive by is unforgiveable. Seriously, what are you thinking? At best you get flipped the bird by a now irate cyclists or get a water bottle chunked at your rear window. At worst you can cause a serious crash. Why would you ever do something like that? But this rule doesn't just apply when there are cyclists around. Throwing trash out of your car at any time creates a lot of debris that often times cyclists can not ride through. This means we have to move from the shoulder and into traffic. Trust me, cyclists don't want to have to move into 50+ mph traffic any more than you would want to slow down because we're in your lane so do your part to ensure that we have a safe place to ride.

3. Give us room.

If you've ever riden a motorcycle you know that you have to aware of drafts and gusts from other vehicles... well, it's even worse for bicycles. I've been literally blown off the road before by passing cars. If there is strong wind or inclement weather, give us more room. If you don't trust a cyclist's riding abilities or your own ability to drive close to a cyclist, give us more room. If you are on a narrow road with no shoulder and you can't share the lane with the cyclist then SLOW DOWN and wait until it is safe to MOVE TO THE OTHER LANE and go on your merry way. A person's life is worth more than the extra 20 seconds this will add to your commute.

4. Honking etiquette

This one's kind of a mixed bag. Some honks are generally friendly, some are just a warning that a car is approaching, some are from total douchebags just trying to be all douchey. Some cyclists can appreciate a friendly honk every now and then and really, as long as you have the best of intentions it's up to personal preference if you want to send an encouraging honk as you pass by a cyclist. Personally, I think that all honks are dangerous honks and would be a much happier cyclist if no one ever honked at me again, but that's just me. We can hear cars coming, so we don't need a warning. Additionally, honking sometimes scares the crap out of cyclists because we're not expecting it. Remember honks are a lot louder outside of a car than inside one. If you do insist on (friendly) honking though, try to wait til after you pass the cyclist and throw a little wave out the window so we know it's friendly and we don't flick you off in return, and NEVER honk as you pull even with a cyclist.

5. Don't be a asshole.

This is your only warning mister or miss truck driver who likes to spew out that lovely cloud of black smoke right as you pass by a cyclist, I'm taking down liscense plates and you'll be receiving my asthma bills in the mail shortly.

P.S. Stop being a asshole.

6. Turning

I've hit over 45mph on my bike before.I have friends who have gotten warnings about speeding when they're cycling around town. Just this weekend I was riding with a guy who was doing 20+ mph on a single speed. Basically, some cyclists are hella fast. What does this have to do with making turns? Chances are you are misjudging the speed of the cyclist who is coming up on the road you want to turn down. So what do you do? Slow the fuck down and let us pass the road before you make your turn. This is the single biggest type of car-bicycle accidents so seriously, pay attention to this one. Do I need to repeat myself about a cyclist's life being worth more than your time?

There you have it. There is a lot more ground I could cover but with these few simple rules and guidelines you are well on your way to having a symbiotic relationship with cyclists.
And if you are still of the type that believes that all cyclist just need to get a car and get the hell out of your way, remember this: In a collision between a bicycle and a car, no matter who is at fault, the bicycle will ALWAYS lose. Do you really want someone's death or maiming on your conscious just because someone pissed you off?

Good day.

Why, No—I'm Not an Idiot, But Thanks for Assuming

When I was much younger, I didn't know that childless (by choice) women existed. I believed that every good girl had to get married and have children when she grew up. But even in the patriarchy-induced stupor, my girlish fantasies involved loopholes. I didn't daydream of mini-groggette's, but about convents or adoption.

I didn't want biological children then, and I don't want children at all now. Hey, I like kids; I just have no desire to have children of my own. And, well, being an atheist kind of knocked that whole nunnery thing right out of the picture. I don't want children, but—surprise, surprise—I do like sex with men (sorry, Catholic Republican parents!), so I decided to opt for a birth control that was a bit more permanent and didn't come with the negative reactions I've experienced with other temporary options. I thought about it, did the research, thought about it some more, did even more research, then decided on a permanent, nonreversible option that worked best for me and my concerns.

Unfortunately my OB didn't care about any of that. She didn't care how long I had thought about it or how much research I had done. She didn't even care about the serious reactions I was having to my current birth control method. She didn't care about any of that because she never heard it. All she heard was 25 and childless and her only response was along the lines of, "No, you might regret it. Lots of other women have."

After lots of tears and screaming into the phone (oh, I was classy, let me tell you), I decided to do some research on that one little thing that I kept being told: "Lots of women have regretted it." Something about it just didn't sit right, starting with never being told how many women "lots" is, and also not being told, despite asking numerous times, what this magical age was when I'd finally be able to determine my own reproductive future. I decided to find out for myself.

1. The most recent (2002) study I found said that only 7% off all women who were voluntarily sterilized experienced regret up to 5 years after their sterilization, comparable to the rate of women regretting their husband's vasectomy.* And the greatest risk factor for regret (according to the abstract) was when the women reported conflict with their partners at the time of sterilization. Even so, the reversal rate (not just regret) for women topped out at 2.2%.

2. In a Journal of Reproductive Medicine study that broke down the results among age groups, women under 27 years had only a 2% higher rate of regret than older women. And, the part that made me particularly happy, "single women were more certain than mothers of their decision to be sterilized."

3. A CDC study also found the same 2% difference between older and younger women, with the former having a regret rate of 2.4% and the latter having a regret rate of 4.3%.

4. The longest-running study I found (14 years versus 5 years) had the highest regret rates—20.3% for women under 30.

This last one is most likely the number (1 in 5! 1 in 5!!!! BOOGABOOGA!) that doctors will cite to young women like me, but even just looking at the abstract, 20% is not the end of the story:

For women aged 30 or younger at sterilization, the cumulative probability of regret decreased as time since the birth of the youngest child increased … and was lowest among women who had no previous births (6.3%).

Women who don't want children tend to continue to not want children. Who knew?

And what is this dreaded regret anyway? First off, regret does not necessarily mean desire for a reversal. I regret not applying to MIT for college. I wouldn't have gone there regardless, but it would be kind of neat to see if I would have been accepted. Regret can simply mean you didn't think out all the details as well you would have liked. And yes, young age is a stronger indicator of possible regret, but so is a change in marital status, having experienced marital problems at the time of the procedure, and being sterilized immediately after giving birth. And what is the best way to ensure satisfaction instead of regret? Presterilization counseling. Something I was never offered.

Yes, regret after a permanent procedure like sterilization is a horrible outcome, but looking at the numbers, and knowing how to counteract a lot of potential regret, it is ridiculous that an entire subset of the population is outright denied this procedure. Are there any other common procedures that are denied to huge swaths of people simply because of possible regret afterwards?

Liss made the point: "Millions of women have elective—and irreversible—cosmetic surgery procedures done every year, some of them high-risk, just to adhere more closely to the contemporary beauty standard, and yet doctors don't routinely discourage the practice by ominously quoting rates of regret or reconstructive surgery to 'fix' or make further adjustments to surgically-altered areas. Isn't it funny (where funny equals totally fucking infuriating) that women who want to alter their bodies to conform to patriarchal expectations aren't disabused of their desires, but women who want to alter their bodies in a way perceived (often rightly) as a rejection of those expectations are discouraged at every turn?"

Isn't it just?

This is a huge issue. Doctors (once again) are trying to protect women from themselves, when the evidence clearly shows that we do not. need. protecting. It took me 3 pages of doctors** and half a day of phone calls before I was finally able to find a doctor even willing to see me. What happens when a woman doesn't have the time that I did to make those phone calls? If she lives in a place that doesn't have 3 pages of doctors who do a certain procedure? If she gets discouraged by the constant nos and inability for anyone to listen? If she doesn't have insurance (or good enough insurance) to be able to cover the procedure when she finally does find a doctor, or if any doctor she finds will even be on her insurance plan?

This is just one more aspect of women being "less than" and it's fucking sickening. If you don't want children, you're outta luck. If you do want children, but society doesn't find you "acceptable," you could have your children forcibly taken away from you or you could be sterilized against your will or under false pretenses. You're outta luck. If you want children and you're fortunate enough that society does find you "acceptable," society will still do fuck-all for you the second you need any kind of help in caring for your children. You're outta luck. Even if you do the "right" thing by society, and give up unwanted children as opposed to aborting, you're still outta luck.

We need to fight for all of our reproductive rights, and for the rights of women who can't fight, because the people in charge sure won't do us any favors.

UPDATE: I don't know how I missed this article in all the rampant google research I did on sterilization. It describes just perfectly the frustration young women like myself go through when we are denied sterilization and the paternalism of doctors who refuse to provide us with treatment. There are 2 quotes I'd like to highlight, but definitely go check it out for yourself.

Why do we arbitrarily choose thirty? Because of the thirty years of practice in my life. Because of the number of years of experience that we, as physicians, have come to see that twenty-five, twenty-six, twenty-seven year old women have, historically, more often than not, told you they regretted their decision to get their tubes tied.

That was Dr. Daniel Wiener, assistant professor of obstetrics and gynecology at McGill University in Montreal, who obviously did not do the whopping half a day of research that I did.

I think there's definitely this idea where a woman's function is to have babies cause your body is made to do it. My body is made to do a lot of things. It's made to run. That doesn't mean I go running every day. Nor should I have to.

And that was Lauren Green (name changed), giving the best. quote. eva.

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* In all my mad googling, the only regret rates I could find for vasectomies studied the wives and not the men themselves.

** Until I called up that last doctor, only one person even bothered to ask why I wanted permanent sterilization. At one point she asked me what I would do if 10 years from now I changed my mind. Evidently "adoption" is not a legitimate answer.

(Crossposted.)

New Years Resowhuzzits

1. Bike more.
2. Save some goddamn money.
3. Put up more than 2 blog posts in a year.

What The Hell Do You Think You're Doing Now?

Good question.

Well once upon a time (about 3 weeks ago I think), I posted a journal entry on my Myspace page about the bikes I own or have owned. Some watery bint then suggested I should make a myspace page for each of my bikes and put them as my top 8. The practical part of my brain immediately responded with "But you don't have 8 bikes..... yet." The not so practical part of my brain countered with, "Why stop at fucking myspace pages? Why not make your own fucking bike blog? Fuckety fuck." And, well, it looks like the usual side won. Plus I have been contemplating starting my own rambling blog (for fuck knows what reason) for awhile as well as leaving behind the crack that is myspace/facebook, so maybe I can do both with one fell swoop.

So what's with the name then? One day at work when I should have been working I started thinking about how cool a bike bar would be. You could have ample bike racks everywhere, maybe even a bike valet, brooks saddles on every stool. Of course they'd serve both coffee and beer and for food you'd have a smorgasboard of fruit, granola, and clif bars. And over the sound system you could play whatever music you felt like as long as no more than 1 person in the bar at the time could recognize the band/artist. Past that they're fucking sell-outs. Could you tell this was a hipster bike bar in my head?

But yeah, Bike Bar stuck in my head as a pretty awesome name for, well, a bike bar or failing that, a blog. Unfortunately a quick google search revealed that there is a bike shop in Aussie land already named the Bike Bar... so with my one track mind I headed over to thesaurus.com to find an appropriate replacement for bar. Yes, I readily admit that despite my experience with drinking I couldn't think of any synonyms for bar past pub and saloon. Hell, I didn't even think of tavern. It's all good because I stumbled upon groggery, which not only is just a kick ass word, but also is a "slightly disreputable bar". Fuck yeah that's perfect!

I will never be a bike snob NYC or a Fat Cyclist, nor do I ever expect to come close to their lofty heights. I just want a place to ramble on about the stupid stuff I do on and off the bike in a notoriously bike unfriendly city.

Enjoy.